The Royals
Season 1
TV Series | The Royals | Contents page
The Royals S01E01
Part 1
March 31, 2021, 10:22 a.m.
You also have a fitting for the garden party.
Followed by the charity photo-shoot.
And Sir Elton John would like to pop around and say hello.
Pop around and say hello?
You give someone a title
and they treat the place like a Starbucks.
Quite. The Queen is unfortunately indisposed.
Now, at halfpast twelve... Just give me the book,Lucius.
Are you ready, Your Majesty?
Of course, I'm ready. I'm the Queen Of England.
When am I not ready?
Yes, of course, get on with it.
Really, what's the point?
It's a race, you idiot!
Oooh!
I mean, it's a race, you idiot, Your Royal Highness.
It's a race. True enough.
But some things in life are meant to be savored.
A cold drink.
Time with your mates.
The woman in your bed.
That feels good.
Let me ask you something.
You know, could we go somewhere without them?
Sorry. What did you have in mind?
Paris?
I was thinking more like your bed.
I like that even better.
But...
Can we really go to Paris. Sure.
My sister's there right now.
Bitch, your coked-up ass better curtsy.
Do we like them? No.
Your Majesty?
My God, Truman. What else did she do?
I can't imagine it can get any worse.
It's not your daughter, sir.
It's your son.
I'm afraid it is worse.
Prince Liam?
Marcus.
You're supposed to guard me, not scare the hell out of me.
You need to return to the palace, Your Highness.
Why? What's going on? You too, Ophelia.
Mom?
"Eleanorgy."
"Flash Dance."
"Royal Beaver."
My daughter, the Princess
behaving like a common whore.
But go on, amuse me.Explain this latest disgrace.
But, please, Eleanor,make it original this time.
Robert's dead, Mom.
I'll never forget the look on his face.
The bewildered boy who had just lost his brother.
And in the same moment...
had become the future King Of England.
It is with heavy hearts that we now have confirmation
that His Royal Highness Prince Robert is gone.
Confirmation was made just
first-born son of King Simon and Queen Helena,
Prince Robert was a fascinating combination...
And the Palace remains secure,
yet tragically silent.
The body is where? And he won't be moved, right?
Military protocol's in our favor.
It's imperative things remain anonymous.
Fiona will handle press, I'll personally escort the body.
Yeah. I'm on my way.
How'd it happen?
We're still gathering information.
Is that the truth from my father
or the official response from the King's Head of Security?
The truth from your father.
The same father who went to your room to find your bed empty,
which can't be said for the Prince's bed.
A fact I had to learn from one of my men.
I know. Just don't take it out on Marcus, okay?
He didn't know.
When the Queen asks her head of security
why he can't control his own daughter
what would you like me to say?
I don't know.
You could tell her that your normally somewhat responsible daughter
got drunk on gin and tonic. Mostly gin
and had irresponsible but protected sex with her son.
And is very much ashamed of herself.
I'm an employee, Ophelia.
We live here under an unspoken code of distance and division.
A code you must have forgotten,
otherwise you wouldn't have been up all night drinking mostly gin
and having illicit sex with the future King of England.
You're absolutely right.I'm sorry.
And I'm sorry about Robert.
I'm disappointed in you.Go to class.
Oh. I'm glad you're using protection.
Dad?
Could you never say that again, please?
And you forgot your phone.
I owed him a call.
Last night I promised I'd call him, but...
They're gonna come now. All of them.
Maybe do Mom a favor and wear some knickers.
Mom can piss off.
Maybe do Dad a favor then.
It's good to see you, Len.
Robert loved you most.
Hey.
This sucks, huh?
Oh, no!
Oh, my God. I'm never flying commercial again.
Where's our plane? It's redic.
It's recock.
Saw your fanny on the front page, Len.
Well done, you.
Yeah, but how many people read the tabs, anyway?
Like, three million?
I mean, that's less than what's seen your bits anyway.
Yadda, yadda, yadda. Whatever.
Oh, God... Sorry about Bobby.
Yeah. Like, no fair.
So, is our father about?
That neglectful tosser.
Marcus said you wanted to see me?
Erm... Please, be sit.
How do you like your tea?
I like it when it's called coffee.
Iced dirty chai with soy.
I know those are words, but I have no idea what they mean
Last year when my mom died
The Royals
Season 1
TV Series | The Royals | Contents page