♪ People keep saying that I’m doing it wrong
♪ Then I say it feels all right
♪ I really do try Really do try, really do try
♪ There's a million things that I could change
♪ But maybe it's all right
♪ This is my life This is my life, this is my life. ♪
Can we have Chinese food tonight?Chinese food is fun.
No, we're having pizza.
I've planned pizza,so we're having pizza.
- Can't change it now. - Well, you could,
by not ordering pizza.
We can have those slimy mushrooms.
They look like dead slugs.I like them.
No, Amber, I've got all the toppings planned already. We're having pizza.
OK, but can we use chopsticks?
Wait, wait. Everyone wait.There's a penny.
I need to save up £600.
As my nana used to say,if you look after the pennies,
the pounds look after themselves.
Oh, that's nice.
So, if Holli saves a penny every day,
she'll have £600 in, like...
Roughly 16♥4♥ years.
My fucking nana.No wonder she's skint.
- Why do you need to save up £600? - That's private.
- Is it for a lawyer? - Is it for a pit bull?
- It's for a secret. - Is it for a boob job?
Seriously, that's your first guess?
Have you ever looked at Holli's boobs?
Well, I'm saving for a boob job. I've got a boob job jar.
- How much you saved? - Hmm, about £7.
That could pay for the pen.
You know, the pen they use to draw on you
before they start cutting you up.
Come on, Holli, let's look for money under the vending machine.
I found 50p under there once,
but the next time,there was just a dead mouse
and the time after that, there was a really smelly dead mouse.
- Don't forget, pizza at mine tonight. - I'll be there.
- What did you tell your parents? - After-school chess tournament.
- And they really believe that? - Yes, they trust me.
Especially now I've set up a fake Saz Kaur Facebook account
and leaked them the password so they can secretly check up
on all my fake activities.
Can you help me take some fake pictures
of me playing fake chess in the library?
My mum and dad are going to love this one.
Don't you feel bad?
No. I'm making them so happy. Why would I feel bad?
Oh, geez, that baby's destroying my jelly bonkers.
Suck, suck, suck.
I've got nipples like lumps of old chewing gum.
Must be nice having a baby, though.
Ah, she's wonderful, and I did the right thing passing on my genes.
But I've also sacrificed what was once an extremely beautiful vagina.
Haven't I, Viva?
Thank God. She was just about to show it to you.
Everyone round here's had to have a look.
Mr Burton next door had one of his episodes.
Rocky, what are you doing here? It's girls' night, remember?
Hello, Viva. Your boyfriend's turned up unexpectedly.
It's romantic.
Yeah, it is romantic.
- But it's still girls' night. - I need to talk to you.
Sure.
You know how I've got, like, an allergy to reading and writing
and rubbers and rulers and exercise books and pens?
I'm not sure it's a proper allergy.
It is a proper allergy, Viva. I get a rash when I smell ink.
Well, I realise what I need to do.
It's so obvious. I've got to drop out of school.
What?! But you're so close.
Rocky, just...just get through your exams
and then you'll never have to smell ink again.
- Except when he's signing on. - I can't do it, Viva.
I'm not some sort of A-star boffiny genius.
And most of the information, I'm never going to use, innit?
I mean, like, where's your gastrocnemius? No-one cares.
Geez, Rocky, that was year eight.
If you don't know where that is by now, you're basically screwed.
So, if I did drop out, would you dump me?
Would you?
I need to know.
I'm not saying that I'd dump you,
but I really don't think you should rush into it.
Right, I get it.
I need qualifications to be going out with you.
Well, sorry I'm not Professor Rocky from the University of..
..of somewhere there's a university that's good.
I'll see you at school.
- Wait, let's talk. - Let him go.
At the moment, our dough ball order divides perfectly between four.
If he stays, we could have a dough-ball division dispute
- on our hands. - Why can't he see how important it is
just to stay motivated a little bit longer?
Let him drop out. He'll probably fail anyway.
Rocky let us in. He looked upset,
so we gave him three dough balls to cheer him up.
Three?!
Everything's ruined.
Can I see the baby, please, Miss Hitchcock?
She's asleep, so, no.
But, if you like, you can watch me express the baby's midnight feed.
I can pump half a pint of full cream mummy milk in five minutes.
- Hey, does anyone want to help me? - I'd love to, please, Miss Hitchcock.
I'll do the right if you take the left.
It's not like Brandon to disappear for this long.
- You tried all his numbers? - And I've been round his house
the last two nights, but it was all dark, cold and empty,
like no-one was living there except spiders.
And I'm thinking the only possible explanation
is that him and his mum have gone into witness protection.
Probably not the only explanation.
If he was going into witness protection, he'd have told you.
When people go into witness protection,
they don't tell you cos you could go round and kill them.
Why don't we all check it out after school?
I'd have to be quick. I'm going to see Uncle Eddie.
He's an old mate of my dad's.
He might give me a job on his market stall
so I can save up £600.
I'll come too.
But I have to make up something for my fake Facebook account.
I'm thinking debating society sounds like fake Saz.
I'm thinking fake Saz should be team captain.
Rocky.
You surprised me last night.
That's me, always coming up with a new twist.
I was really negative.
I get it, that's cool.
You're my boyfriend, Rocky, and I'll still love you whatever.
Really?
So, you're saying you'll still love me