TV Series | Ghosts | Contents page
Hi. Good evening.
Fully booked again tonight?
Living the dream.
On your marks.
For King and country!
If music be the food of love...
He just really speaks to me. Oh, no, not this berk again.
Get a job!
four down is bum.
Robin, for the last time, no newspaper's going to...
Three letter, "gluteus maximus"...
Oh, yeah, you're right. ..is bum.
Good. Very good.
Come on! Come on! Yes.
Takes me back to the David Lloyd in Chelsea.
Take that, Hugo!
So where did we get to? Er, World Cup '86.
England-Argentina. All right.
Ah, the Hand of God.
Maradona - scores with a handball, swings the match.
Well, don't tell me the score. 21 to Argentina.
What's wrong with you?!
You absolute... Dikhet.
Robin! Is sixletter, "permit to travel", dikhet!
Here. Yeah, OK.
You're getting good at these.
Well, me very clever.
Oh. Laughing 'orse.
Oh, thanking you kindly.
I do not like where this is going.
Morning. Hi, Alison.
Back to the grindstone.
Yeah. Which reminds me, we found this grindstone.
14th century. Honestly, your cellar is literally a gold mine.
When you say litera...? Archeologically speaking.
Here we go, then.
Oh, push it!
Well? Two minutes, 30. Same as...
Well, always. I mean, it's always two minutes, 30.
Well, keep at it.
Maybe I need to try some new stretches or something.
Yeah, or maybe you can't really get any faster,
you know, because you can't build muscle, what with you being -
and I mean this with all the love in the world, Cap - dead.
We didn't win the war with attitudes like that, did we?
Right, I'm going to go and stretch my hams.
Well, I mean, they won't stretch because you're...
I'm dead. Yeah, you're dead, yeah.
You'll be dead soon. What?
Right. Hard to be conclusive about the cause of death, but, er,
well, it's going to be plague, isn't it?
From the pelvis, I'd say female.
30 to 40.
Bowed right femur. Probable limp.
Evidence of extensive syphilis.
No, no, not that bit.
Same as the male from yesterday.
Geoff! What? Someone's been a naughty boy!
I forgot to say, that, um, we've got a photographer coming today
to take a picture for our brochure.
Oh, for the hotel?
No, we...we...we ran out of money, and also...
So we're thinking of trying to use
some of the big rooms for functions,
weddings, you know.
Nice. Which will be nice, yeah.
Er, yeah, and we need to get a shot of the front,
so do you think you could move your van?
Well, I could, but...
Yes, great, thank you.
Any end in sight? Er, yeah, nearly there. Few more days.
Sorry it's taken so long. There's just
so much history on this site.
Honestly, if these bones could talk.
Yeah, well, that would save us all a lot of hassle, wouldn't it?
But then...who'd believe you?!
So the aim is to turn it into a venue. A venue for what?
Er, well, you know, weddings, parties, bar mitzvahs...
..girl mitzvahs. Bat mitzvahs.
We need it to look nice,
so if you could avoid the bad bits...
What, all of them?
Well, just find the best angle.
Yeah, I mean, we know that the camera never lies,
but if it could not tell the whole truth,
then that would be very handy for us.
I'll see what I can do. Great.
There's simply not enough slates to do the whole roof!
It's the third Earl of Winborne!
I'm not sure Impressions Club's going to work, is it?
Well, let's not be too hasty. No-one's heard my Nelson Mandela.
Outrageous! Haven't done it yet.
No, no, no, no!
Alison, get the tradesman off the lawn!
Snapsnap! Um, Rory, can we try...?
This way? Yeah, just...
All the way off the lawn!
TV Series | Ghosts | Contents page