Ghosts
Season 1
TV Series | Ghosts | Contents page
Ghosts S01E01
Part 1
May 16, 2020, 6:58 a.m.
It won't be long now.
She had a tremendous innings.
At least she's comfortable.
Yeah, there are worse ways to go.
- Well, this is it. - You're telling me!
You can say that again.
Quiet.
I think it's happening.
Stand by.
I think she's going.
Oh, I do hope she stays.
Tenner says she stays.
- Deal. - I can't see anything. Can you lift me up a bit?
Oh, not this again.
Who are you?
I am the ghost of your great-grandmother.
We are those poor spirits who dwell on,
compelled for reasons unknown...
Ah, she's gone.
- Lucky cow. - Good on her, actually.
What's going on? All I can see is shoes.
- You owe me ten. - Oh, no, no.
If you listened to what I actually said...
Oh, don't start.
Guys, if you please!
Perhaps one of us should say a few words.
Yes, I'll do it.
Bagsie her room.
Oh, she's only just died.
Well, I'll wait until they've taken her away, of course.
She was the last Button of Button House.
The final Button died today.
Though, where she goes, we cannot say.
Oh, he's off again.
- It seems but only yesterday... - Hey, come on.
Don't go without me. Oh, stupid body.
Her life, twas like...
..a play.
But with no children of her own,
who then will come to call this home?
Well, it's bigger than the place we're renting.
And slightly over budget, but...
Does it have a garden?
No, but the downstairs flat's got one you can look at.
Yeah?
Sorry, one second.
Hello, Clasey Hughes Estate.
Nice view of the street.
Yeah.
"Buddy's Fish 'n' Pizza."
Well, we do like both those things.
- It's rubbish, isn't it? - Yep.
- It's so bad. - It's awful.
And I hate it.
- Sorry. - Nah, fair enough.
I wouldn't want to live here either.
Hello?
Hello, is that Alison Cooper?
- Speaking. - I'm calling about a house.
We're only looking at flats. We can't afford to buy a house.
This one's not for sale.
Then why are you calling?
God, I hate estate agents.
Apart from the good ones like you.
Yep?
Sorry, I think we've got off on the wrong foot.
I'm a solicitor at Worthing, Cole and Simons, and I'm calling
to inform you that you have in fact inherited a house.
Hello?
Hello?
That's you in the corner there.
So, she was like my step-great auntie?
There's no real term for what you are,
but she sadly had no direct relatives and so you're the only one.
I feel like I'm in the head master's office.
I put a pussy willow in Daniel Bellingham's ear,
and he tried to get it out and just pushed it further in.
He had to go to the doctors.
It wasn't A&E or anything, it was just...
He's fine now. He's a pastry chef.
These look nice.
That's potpourri.
Was she old?
She was 99.
Oh, so close.
And there she is.
Lady Heather Button.
The Buttons go back a long way.
Lady?
Does that mean I'm a lady?
OK, I know I'm a lady, but, like, a lady lady?
Like, Lady Gaga. No, no...
It's not this house, is it?
As a matter of fact, it is.
Button House.
No.
Now, obviously, it can take several years to find a buyer
and close the sale...
Luxury hotel chains, that sort of thing.
- What if we keep it? - Yes. That is a great idea.
The house is in a state of some disrepair.
We were looking for a bit of a project anyway
and I retiled the bit behind the sink in our last flat, so...
- The splashback? - Is it?
I'm not sure this falls into the category of DIY.
You should at least have a survey done before...
I just feel like it would be better to keep it in the family.
I think, actually, that's what she would have wanted.
- Aunt Helen. - Heather.
- Heather. - And if it can make money for some hotel chain,
then why not make it work for us?
- We could give up our jobs. - Yes.
We could do this full time.
OK, yes.
Can we keep it? If we want to?
Well, it is your house.
Sorry.
Look what the cat's dragged in.
Down here.
You're warm.
Getting warmer.
You're boiling.
No. Cold... Getting cold.
Down here! You deaf...
Well, I've got the ears, haven't I?
Little guy...
- Pawn. - Prawn...
Go dooka, dooka.
- But that's... - Checkmate.
Ghosts
Season 1
TV Series | Ghosts | Contents page