Friends from College
Season 1
TV Series | Friends from College | Contents page
Friends from College S01E01
Part 1
July 19, 2020, 3:29 p.m.
- No, wait. Okay. - Alright, I got it.
- Yeah, okay. - You know what?
- Put me back down. - What?
- Put me down. - Why?
Because I don't like it when you grimacing like that.
Can you see how that's insulting?
No no no, I'm grimacing from pleasure.
That's pleasure grimacing.
You don't make that face when we're in bed. Put me down.
- I'm just trying to get some purchase here. - Put me down.
- Okay. I promise, I'm sorry. - Okay.
- Alright. - Okay, there we go.
That's harder, that's a bad angle.
Oh, no! Jesus.
Oh, my God, I'm sorry. What happened? What happened?
It's okay. You kneed me in the vagina, just a little bit.
- I kneed you? I'm sorry. - Just a little bit.
- Go get a condom. - Okay.
- Shit. - Dude! Get in here!
- Alrighty. Guess what... - Yeah, come here.
I am out, so we can skip just this once.
No, we can't.
You have been trying that line on me for two decades,
literally since freshman year.
- Yeah, because it works. - No, it's never worked once.
Okay, what are the chances that you...
Let me put it... You're not menopaused are you?
What the fuck is wrong with you?
People menopause at different times,
you could easily be menopaused.
Can you stop saying "Menopaused". I'm not a DVD player.
It should be menostopped, not menopaused.
It's not called either, it's not a verb.
It's just that we find ourselves in a very tricky situation here.
If only... three to five dollars could solve it.
- My turn! - I don't care.
- My turn! - Give it to me... now!
- My turn! - No, it's not.
I said it's my turn, you cunt!
Holy shit.
- Mine! - Dash, this language is...
Okay, here we are, ta-da, penis covers.
I have to fly home to New York, I'm going standby.
- No. What happened? - It's not a big deal, but I have to go.
We've got some shit to talk about.
There's something I really need to tell you.
What? Are you in love with me?
Are you leaving your wife? Should I leave Jon?
I'm sorry, I'm just really stressed about Dash.
- Is he okay? - Yeah, he's fine.
But his school wants me there.
How about if we talk about that
when I'm back in Chicago for work on the 14th?
Or we could talk about it in the beginning of September
when I'm in New York for the rest of my life
because Lisa and I are moving back there.
What? Why?
For the past decade,
I've been dragging Lisa around for all my teaching jobs
and she was ready to come back home.
So, reunion, right? The friend group is back!
Yes!
Well...
this is over.
Yes. I was going to say that.
I think that that's best, so...
So where are we now?
Is everything from the waist down
just a swamp for you over there?
- Yes. - Are you living in a...
I feel like I'm wearing more clothes than a man should wear.
Let's get out of here. What is happening?
I don't know.
Are we waiting for this truck to unload?
Who taught you how to drive? You stupid motherfucker!
Do not make eye contact.
- I'm begging you not to... - Don't talk to my husband like that.
- Come over here and say that to my face! - Don't come here.
Fuck you!
I am an attorney, sir!
You better watch your fucking mouth!
- Fuck you! - Fuck you!
- Oh, fuck you! Fuck you back, you moron! - Honey, you got him.
All right? Can we just... Honey, please.
I'm sorry, sir. I apologize.
Fuck you, too! Drive, you jackass!
Thank you for your service.
He's just a fucking cab driver.
What? I know.
It's not even our fault, there's a fucking car...
- I know. What's going on with you? - I'm fine.
- I think I'm just anxious - What's going on, honey?
to see everybody. I think I'm just...
You know, whenever we get together,
it gets so competitive and immature.
What? With our friends?
Why would that happen?
They're only our best friends. What can possibly go wrong?
We've got like 20 years of grievances built up and ready to explode.
Now this guy's pulling out. Look at this character!
- Marianne! - Finally!
We're here!
We're here!
You remember my partner, Felix?
- Hello. - Nice to see you.
- Nice to see you. - Nice to see you, sir.
Is this how we're greeting each other now?
What's so funny?
In college, we used to grab each other's testicles.
- That was kind of our funny hello. - Immature, a little bit.
So loud.
- Alright, group photo. - Group photo!
- I'll take it. - Wait, where's Sam?
Oh, I don't know. She said she was gonna be here.
That's weird. Friend group back together!
One, two, three...
Alright.
- Felix, come in here. - Yeah, you get in!
No, it doesn't make any sense.
Get over here, the happy couple. There we go.
- Alright, just that. - Oh, yeah!
Get ready, guys.
- That's great. - Good.
- Who wants mimosas? - We do!
Beers!
- It's a lot of energy. - It's fun.
Very loud.
Just a reminder that last week
Friends from College
Season 1
TV Series | Friends from College | Contents page