- Hey! - The party's about to start.
This is a no-work zone for the rest of the night.
Well, it's not work. It's a gift.
All right, five minutes, or you're on the naughty list.
Whoo-hoo, babe, um,
what do you spike the eggnog with?
Rum or Bourbon?
- Either. - Hmm...
I'm not a guest?
Girl, no. You're family.
I'm gonna use both.
Never mind, it's just my brother.
Wow. Let's dial down the enthusiasm, sis.
[Naomi] And careful spiking that punch, Martin.
This is a Christmas party, not a frat party.
No, no, Jack, please, don't get up. I've got it.
And a Merry Christmas to you too, Jolie.
Enough squabbling, you guys.
Jack gets a pass from helping, because he showed up.
That's not fair!
We made a deal. If I came to the party,
I didn't have to help decorate.
A deal's a deal.
Seriously? That is the standard he's held to?
- Showing up? - [Jack] Yep.
I do not want a repeat of my wedding, where you two were
just fighting all night about who's giving the last toast.
Yeah, I'm a writer
and her brother, so it should've been me.
I was the maid of honor
All right, look, just
be pleasant when the guests arrive, all right?
What? Him? He's always a grump, but you?
Why are you so fussy?
Come on, it's Christmas. Aren't you excited to go home?
- About that. - What?
- You're not going home? - No, I'm going home,
but so is Foster and his new girlfriend.
- [gasps] Already? - Mm-hmm.
I know, I just found out today.
- It's only been six months! - I know!
I was freaked out knowing that I was gonna have to see him,
and now, I'm gonna have to hang out with him and her
the whole time.
[sighs] Do you have to see him?
Yeah, our dads are getting this big award,
because they've been putting on the Christmas Market
for, like, 30 years,
so the mayor's giving them keys to the city.
And then, our parents do this big bonfire
right before Christmas Eve every year, and
they've been doing it since we were kids.
Any chance of breaking those traditions?
I mean, I can probably skip that bonfire, but...
No, the market's really really special to my family.
What if you bring a date?
Oh, yes, cool, I'll just go get a date real fast.
Every guy I know is either married or...
or related to me.
All right, it's gonna be OK. We'll think of something.
All right, let's find you a date.
Here we go.
But like, it's not as exciting as it sounds, you know?
In fact, most publishers, they only wanna sell books...
Hey, big brother,
remind me of your Christmas plans again.
You know how I'm going to Colorado with Martin's family,
and Mom and Dad are doing that Mediterranean cruise?
I feel like you've lectured me about this already.
Uh, I don't have any plans.
I'm just gonna be writing.
- You should go home with Jolie. - What?
Yeah, you'll spend Christmas in Louisiana with the Guidrys.
You're always saying you wanna travel more.
You can be alone anytime.
What am I missing?
What Naomi is doing with the subtlety of a baboon,
I might add, is trying to get me a date for Christmas,
'cause Foster's bringing home a new cute girlfriend, so...
You don't have to go with me to Louisiana.
Oh, no, no, no, no. You should go.
Listen, the food alone is worth the trip.
Exactly. And you can write from anywhere.
Guys, he'd be, like, pretending to be my boyfriend.
That's... It's weird.
- I'm weird? - No, I mean, you're not...
You're not weird, but the situation is weird.
See? There you go. You already sound like a couple.
No, we don't.
OK, what if it's more like a buffer than a boyfriend?
You know, a plus-one to make it less... awkward.
Oh, less awkward. Cool.
Exactly, but, baby,
what would Jack be getting out of this?
Yeah, what would Jack be getting out of this?
The joy of knowing that you're helping out a friend.
Ooh, hard pass.
Actually, I could use a website for my novel.
No. I mean, no offense, but you're just
not the most reliable guy.
What does that mean?
I'm sorry, do you not remember,
what was that, like, 5 months ago?
OK, wait, hold on, what am I missing?
She didn't tell you?
Martin. OK, when I moved here, like, 6 months ago,
Naomi thought it would be a great idea
to set me up with her brother, because I didn't know anybody.
Only, Jack stood me up!
Woop, no. I did not! I did not stand you up.
I called and cancelled. There's a very big difference.
Either way, you flaked! So how do I know
I'm not gonna put all this work into a website
and you just won't show up at the airport?
You know, if I was at the office,
this would be a quick fix.
What do you mean?
I'd write a contract.