If you like stories about chance and coincidence and fate
then here's one you've never heard.
Boy meets girl...
Girl almost kills boy by running a red light at rush hour.
Boy is T-boned at over 60 miles per hour...
Oh, my God! Are you all right?
...and survives with barely a scratch.
Are you drunk?
Is that cocaine on your nose?
Between the bottle and the sports book,
boy had lost his way in the City of Angels.
Until he found one.
The one he's been looking for his entire life.
I'm sorry, I didn't see the light.
Well, don't go towards it now.
Boy falls in love in that second,
and knows his luck is about to change.
Cum, baby, cum on me.
What a difference a year makes...
off the bottle and the blow,
high on life itself.
And about to put a ring on this girl's finger.
- That felt good, baby. - Oh, my God, so good.
- Are you happy? - Yeah, I'm so happy.
I'm breaking up with you.
I've met someone, right?
And... And I fell really hard for him
and I didn't expect it to happen,
but now that it has,
I just feel like I can't ignore my feelings any longer.
I just came.
I know and so did I.
Are you shitting me?
I wanted you to feel euphoric.
It didn't work!
And after that,
everything pretty much went to shit.
What a difference another fucking year makes.
She'd dumped me
for the starting quarterback of the Cleveland Browns.
His signing bonus was 4.5 million,
my last check was for 816...
And I still sit here like an asshole
and wonder if I could've done something different?
She devastated me.
She knocked my dick in the dirt.
She took my steam.
And I gotta get it back because this is killing me!
I mean, what the fuck am I doing?
I came to LA to be an actor.
Hi, I'm Kevin Briyzowski.
What's up, I'm Kevin Brizow.
I'm Kai Bravo.
And now, I drive a limo.
And, shocker, I hate it.
I hate the hours...
I hate the clients...
And, fuck me, I hate my life.
I gotta get my shit together.
I know I do.
My life is nearly half over
and I have exactly jack shit to show for it.
and no women.
And in this town, I am fucking positive
that's the order they come in.
Better men would've blown their heads off by now.
Men like Karl with a "K".
Hi, I'm Karl...
That's how he introduced himself.
...with a "K".
Karl with a "K" was legendary.
Karl with a "K" lived to serve.
Karl with a "K" was the industry gold standard.
Do you like dry two olive Bombay martinis
with a shot of Chambord?
Karl with a "K" knows you do.
- Loose. - Yeah.
- See that? - Okay. Okay.
- Just, no tension. - I see it now.
- Costa Rica...- Aruba.
Karl with a "K" was trim, worldly and well-traveled.
You know, I actually did an Ironman Triathlon in Panama.
To Karl with a "K"...
All right, Norman, I think I got everything
out of the bathroom.
...it was about the client.
Quick question. Is that a severed penis?
Always about the client.
Some chilled Veuve Clicquot for the returning honeymooners.
Karl with a "K" was quite simply the personification
of total client satisfaction.
- What about her? - She's dead.
But... I got you a blueberry muffin. It's on the seat.
Oh! You're the greatest, Karl.
I am sure his sterling reputation
thrilled Karl with a "K" to no end...
You guys look so happy.
...right up until the day he sucked on a .38 snub nose.
It would mark the only time in nearly 20 years
that someone else would clean his limo.
Jesus, they buried him in one of those.
I heard later that Karl had come to LA to be an actor.
But I cannot go out like that.
I don't even believe in fate,
only in the destiny that you make for yourself.
The only reason I am in this hole
is because I couldn't stop digging.
But that has to change.
Starting today, this fucking minute,
I am putting the goddamn shovel down.
What's up, babe? What's with these guys?
Naseem wants you front and center, homie.
He taking heads?
Not yet, but whatever fears you have are totally founded.