I don't know. It's just so weird.
Okay, well, what did he say, exactly?
He said he needed to talk to me.
- Needed or wanted? - What's the difference?
- Urgency. - He said needed.
- Ugh, that's urgent. - I know.
He gave you super gonorrhea.
When did he tell you this?
- As soon as he walked through the door. - Oh, my God.
What an asshole. Do you wanna go?
Yes, and no. I don't want to know what it is.
- Oh, my God. You've got to find out. - You've got to know.
- Let's get the check. - Sorry, uh...
Sorry it took me so long.
It's so weird. They have one of those toilets
that's like a jacuzzi for your butt.
Well, Japanese culture is so interesting, is it not?
Like, ugh, I can't wait to go to Tokyo.
Hey, you're still airbnb-ing the house upstate, right?
- Good God, no! - He didn't tell you?
- No. - Oh, my God, it was a nightmare!
This sweet lady, she rents it for the weekend and she brings her dog.
I'm cool with pets. Whatever, it's fine.
Until she decides that she wants to be nice
and clean it herself.
It is so not funny.
Okay, so, Adam's got one of those robot vacuums.
- A Roomba. - A Roomba, yeah.
She turns the Roomba on, she leaves the house,
and the dog gets into the trash
and eats something that gives him diarrhea.
And the Roomba spread shit everywhere.
She was gone for eight hours. It took two weeks to clean it up.
- No, no, honey, that is like... - Yes.
...the worst thing I've heard all week.
You have a lot of property.
And you own it with your ex, right?
Well, no, I actually got it when my mom died.
It was always just mine, I guess.
So much property.
And it's so cute, by the way. It's so charming.
- It's a safety net house. - No.
- You have to sell it. - Trying to.
- Anyway... - So much property.
Can I interest you in dessert?
Thank you, just the check.
I don't mean to bother you, but I'm obsessed with your website.
Oh, thank you. Thanks.
Oh, stop. This is our anniversary dinner,
so Marklin and I would like to treat you.
- You don't have to do that. - Yes!
- We invited you. - You're sure?
Adam and I are going to hang for a second and finish our fight.
- Really? - No.
Not really. We're gonna walk you guys out.
Can you wrap this up to go?
That one too.
Call me and let me know what's up.
The waiter ordered us an UberPool.
- That's cool, right? - Yes.
Wish me luck.
And it just gets worse.
I have my phone on.
Now, she really knows how to pick 'em.
I need a drink.
Oh, well, lucky for you...
- You did not. - Well, yeah.
They took everything else. Why not?
You're gonna get us arrested.
It looks like a bottle of Sprite. Don't worry.
Little bit of worry is okay.
Well, yeah, but that's why I love you.
I love you. Happy Anniversary.
Maybe next time no double-date?
Hi! Do you have a minute for gay rights?
- No! - Okay, asshole.
Easy. We're already members.
Oh, my God!
I love you.
- Can I take a pic? - No problem.
- Thank you. - Okay.
I am freaking out.
Didn't know they work nights.
Well, we are downtown.
Hey, can I ask you something?
I just... I don't know how to tell you this.
Just say it, I guess? I mean...
Um, look, um... These past three weeks,
getting to know you have been amazing
and I really think that I'm starting to feel things for you,
but there's something that I... Ugh!
Oh, my God, you're making me nervous right now!
I'm sorry. I'm so sorry.
- Just say it. - I'm so sorry!
- Yeah, I'm... - It's okay.
I'm sorry, what now?
- And you're staying on friends' couches? - No, I did that.
You moved in with your parents?
No, I did that too.
I live in a shelter.
But you have such nice shoes.
I have a locker.
Don't eat those.
Come on. Can't we just have coffee like normal people?
When I'm done.
Okay, can you help?
I can't get the shot.
- I'm worried. - Just... Do you mind?