Well, that was your first mistake.
You see, department stores are designed
on the premise that people naturally travel
in a clockwise direction.
Go counterclockwise and you'll spend less money.
Whoohoo, I got a trophy.
Oh, right, James, come in,
sit down over there.
I want a signed contract,
not tickets to hear somebody cry in Italian for three hours.
Get Steven on the phone.
Steven's in, um, London, sir.
It's Christmas Eve there.
Did I bloody ask you what time it was in London?
Now, what if, instead of paying for things
with money, you could tell the cashier a story
that you've never told anyone before
and the crazier it was, the more stuff you could buy?
Would the story have to be true?
100% or else you get tased.
No wait, if the tumor's there,
we take it, right?
That's why we operate.
You saw her heart, the damage was already done.
If I'd have seen it on the MRI,
I would have never opened her up.
And you're okay with that?
Whoa, ho, hold up!
what's the problem with you people?
Don't you know what a penthouse is?
I do not want a pillar obstructing my view!
I'm afraid that's just not possible, sir.
I mean, we could do it but we'd have to change
the five floors underneath.
Well, it just so happens that I own those five floors
and all the bloody floors beneath them.
I have Steven on the phone for you, sir.
Do to unforeseen financial constraints
placed upon Pavlick energy
a reorganization's become necessary,
which results in the termination of James Harris.
Whoa, whoa, whoa!
I'm getting fired?
No, laid off.
But it's Christmas Eve.
Hey, Turk, what's up, buddy?
Six to eight weeks?
Oh my god! What am I gonna do for a running back?
We're gonna be late!
We're always late remember?
All aboard who's coming aboard.
Hurry guys, hurry up!
Just chill, guys, it's Christmas.
Come on, dawn!
Okay, look at this, good thing we're all friends here.
What about Jacob?
There's no way he'd fit in, just go.
Oh, come on, Jacob.
He'd better hurry.
Sorry boys, got a transport.
Oh well, well, it's Dr. Roberts.
Wait a minute, isn't that the same...
don't worry, she'll be out cold for another two hours,
then some poor nurse will have to break her the news
because you'll be long gone.
Yeah, she's supposed to be out in 30 minutes.
I should be there in 26, assuming the subway's on time
and the crosswalk signals are still set for commuter flow.
I don't want to hear that right now.
Listen, it's Christmas Eve, we'll do it
after the new year, okay?
We'll have lunch, then we'll let the new guys
introduce themselves and I'll cover the comp.
Hey, quick question, I'm down a running back,
who do you take, Moreno...
Can you hear me?
Um, sir, I just thought I'd remind you,
it's your son's birthday.
And it's Christmas, should I send him a gift
in your name, maybe?
Reading my mind already?
What was that?
What the hell?
- That's not good. - That's not good at all
Am I blind?
Anyone got any ideas?
I always knew I would die in an elevator.
I want you to scatter my ashes over our apartment.
On the roof or like on the floors and stuff?
Maybe just in the fish tank,
like a little each day.
Just like, you know, a doo-doo-doo.
Did you know your fingernails grow for like a year
after you're dead?
Actually, that's a myth.
As the body decomposes, the skin recedes,
making it appear as if the nails are growing,
but they're not.
Was that the brainiac or the clean freak?
I think it was the brainiac.
The proper term for clean freak
is obsessive compulsive.
Used primarily as an adjective,
but sometimes as a noun.
So I wash my hands a lot.
You should thank me.
This is getting freaky.
Stu, hey, dude,
Yeah, what's going on out there, man?
You're kidding me. The whole city?
What are you telling me?
Zombies, I knew it would always end up like this.
You getting your face ripped off by bikers
and me stuck in an elevator with, hold please,
what's your name?