Phoebe: But, but this is my gig. This is where I play. My, my name is written out there in chalk. You know, you can't just erase chalk.
Rachel: Honey, I'm sorry. -Phoebe: And he's going to be paying this woman? Why doesn't he just give her like a throne, and a crown, and like a, you know, gold stick with a ball on top.
Rachel: Terry is a jerk, OK? That's why we're always saying"Terry's a jerk!" That's where that came from.
Phoebe: Yeah, OK. You probably did everything you could. -Rachel: OK, you know what, lemme, let me just see what else I can do.
Rachel: All right, look, look. Why don't you just let her go on after Stephanie whatever-her-name-is. I mean, you won't even be here. You don't pay her. It's not gonna cost you anything.
Terry: I, I don't know. -Rachel: Come on, Terry, I'll even clean the cappuccino machine. -Terry: You don't clean the cappuccino machine? -Rachel: Of course I clean it.
I mean, I, I will cleeeean it. I mean, I will cleeeean it. -Terry: Oh, all right, fine, fine, fine.
Rachel: Done. -Phoebe: Really? -Rachel: Yeah. Who's workin' for you, babe?
Phoebe: Oh! Oh my god. This is so exciting. How much am I gonna get? -Rachel: What?
Phoebe: Well you said that he's paying the people who are playing, so?
Rachel: Oh, no, no no. I meant that he's gonna be paying that other woman because she's a professional.
Phoebe: Well, I'm not gonna be the only one who's not getting paid. -Rachel: Well, but Pheebs.
Phoebe: No, huh uh, I'm sorry, no. No, I'm not some like sloppy second, charity band.
Phoebe: You know what, there are thousands of places in this city where people would be happy to pay to hear me play.
Phoebe: When I play, I play for me, I don't need your charity. Thank you!
Ross: Well, there's no way I'm gonna get a shot. Maybe they can take the needle and squirt it into my mouth, you know, like a squirt gun.
Doctor: Hello, there. I'm Dr. Carlin. I see someone's having a little allergic reaction.
Monica: Doctor, can I see you for just a moment please? My brother has a slight phobia about needles.
Ross: Did you tell him about my squirt gun idea?
Monica: My brother, the PHD would like to know if there's any way to treat this orally.
Doctor: No, under these circumstances it has to be an injection, and it has to be now.
Ross: So? -Monica: That's good, have a seat. Um, the doctor says it's gotta be a needle. You're just going to have to be brave. Can you do that for me? -Ross: OK.
Monica: OK. Oh boy. You are doin' so good. You wanna squeeze my hand? -Ross: yeah. -Monica: OK.
Monica: All right, Ross, don't squeeze it so hard. Honey, really. Don't squeeze it so hard! Oh, Ross! Let go of my hand!
Chandler: That's a good plan, Joe. Next time we wanna pick up women, we should just go to the park and make out. Taxi! Taxi!
Joey: Hey, hey, look at that talent.
Chandler: Just practicing. You're good. Carry on. Wait, wait, wait!
Girl 1 on Bus: Hey, you. He's just adorable.
Chandler: Oh, but can you tell him that, because he thinks he looks too pink.
Girl 2 on bus: So what are you guys out doing today?
Joey: Oh we're not out. No, no. We're just uh, two heterosexual guys hanging with the son of our other heterosexual friend, doing the usual straight-guy stuff.
Chandler: You done? -Joey: Yeah.
Girl1: Oh, there's our stop. -Joey: Get outta here. This is our stop.
Girl2: You guys live around here too?
Joey: Oh, yeah, yeah, sure. We live in the building by the sidewalk. -Chandler: You know it?
Joey: Hey, look, since we're neighbors and all, what do you say we uh, get together for a drink?
Girl 1: So uh, you wanna go to Marquel's? -Chandler: Oh, sure, they love us over there.
Girl 2: Where's your baby? -Chandler and Joey: (running after bus) Ben! Ben! Ben!
Chandler: Oh, that's good. Maybe he'll hear you and pull the cord. -Both: Stop the bus! Wait! Wait! Wait!
Monica: Are you sure he didn't break it because it really hurts.
Doctor: No, it's just a good bone bruise. And, right here is the puncture wound from your ring.
Ross: Oh, I'm sorry, I'm really sorry. -Monica: It's okay.
Ross: Sorry. Sorry! Hey! Hey! I got my s's back! Which we can celebrate later. Celebrate. Celebrate....
Phoebe: He was a double double double-jointed boy.
Phoebe: Hey. So um, are you the professional guitar player? -Stephanie: Yeah. I'm Stephanie.
Phoebe: Right. My name was on there, but now it just says "carrot cake".
Phoebe: So um, so um, how many chords do you know? -Stephanie: All of them.
Phoebe: oh, yeah. So you know D? -Stephanie: yeah.
Phoebe: Ok, do you know A minor? -Stephanie: yeah.
Phoebe: Do you know how to go from D to A-minor? -Stephanie: yeah.
Phoebe: Um, so does your guitar have a strap? -Stephanie: no. -Phoebe: Mine does.
Phoebe: Stephanie knows all the chords.
Chandler: Come on, pick up, pick up! Hello? Transit Authority? Yes, hello. I'm doing research for a book, and I was wondering what someone might do if they left a baby on a city bus. Yes I do realize that would be a very stupid character.
Joey: Hi, here's the deal. We lost a car-seat on a bus today. It's white plastic, with a handle, and it fits onto a stroller. Oh, and there was a baby in it. He wants to talk to you again.
Rachel: Ok, everybody, let's give a uh nice warm Central Perk welcome to...-Phoebe: Terry's a jerk, and he won't let me work, and I hate Central Perk!
Rachel: Uh, to Stephanie Schiffer.
Stephanie: Thank you. I'd like to start with a song that I wrote for the first man I ever loved. Zachary...-Phoebe: You're all invited to bite me!