Ross: I'm not a nice guy.
Ross: All right, boys let's eat.
Chandler: Did you get that from the "I Love Rachel Pizzeria"?
Ross: You still on that?
Chandler: Oh come on, what was with that Black Bart speech?
Chandler: "When I play poker, I'm not a nice guy."
Ross: You're way off, pal.
Joey: I don't think so, see Ross, because I think you love her!
Ross: No. See I might have had feelings for her at one time. Not anymore. I just...I... Marcel! Where are you going with that disk? You are not putting that on again. Okay... If you press that button, you are in very very big trouble.
Rachel: You believe what a jerk Ross was being?
Monica: Yeah, I know. He can get really competitive.
Phoebe: "Hello, kettle? This is Monica. You're black!"
Monica: Please! I'm not as bad as Ross.
Rachel: I beg to differ. The Pictionary incident?
Monica: That was not an incident. I was gesturing and the plate slipped out of my hand.
Rachel: I got an interview! I got an interview!
Monica: You're kidding! Where?
Rachel: Saks Fifth Avenue.
Monica: Oh, Rachel!
Phoebe: It's like the mother ship is calling you home.
Monica: What's the job?
Rachel: Assistant buyer. I would be shopping! For a living!
Monica: OK look, that's Aunt Iris. She has been playing poker since she was 5. You've got to listen to every word she says.
Aunt Iris: Hi, is Tony Randall dead?
Monica: I don't think so.
Aunt Iris: He may be now. Because I think I hit him with my car.
Girls: My God, really?
Aunt Iris: No, that's bluffing. Lesson number one. Let me tell you something. Everything you hear at a poker game is pure crap! Nice earrings.
Phoebe: Thank you...
Aunt Iris: Girls, sit down.
Monica: Aunt Iris, this is Phoebe and Rachel.
Aunt Iris: Yeah, yeah, Listen, I'm parked at a meter. Let's do it. Okay? Alright, we'll start with a little five card draw. Then we'll go into the studs and hold 'ems. I talked to Cousin Nathan yesterday. Don't touch the cards when somebody is dealing.
Monica: How is Nathan?
Aunt Iris: How is he ever. Now he thinks he's a man trapped in a woman's body.
Rachel: Don't you mean he thinks he is a woman trapped in a man's body?
Aunt Iris: It should be so simple.
Phoebe: Ross, could we please please listen to anything else?
Ross: All right. I'm gonna pay for that tonight.
Rachel: Hi. Guys, guess what?
Chandler: OK the fifth dentist caved, and now they're all recommending Trident?
Rachel: No, the interview! Unbelievable! She loved me. She absolutely loved me. We talked for like two and a half hours. We've the same taste in clothes. And-oh, I also went to camp with her cousin. And, oh, the job is perfect! I can do this, I can do this well.
Everyone: That's great!
Rachel: Then she told a funiest story.
Monica: OK great, you'll tell us and we'll laugh. Let's play poker!
Joey: Hi now listen, you guys, we talked about it and if you don't wanna play, we'll completely understand.
Chandler: Yes, we can play some other game. Like I don’t know, Pictionary?
Monica: Very funny. Very funny. But I think we'd like to give poker another try, shall we?
Girls: Yes, I think we should.
Ross: Do you want me to shuffle those?
Rachel: No! That's okay, you know I'm gonna give it a go.Alright!
Ross: So Pheebs owes $7.50. Monica, you owes $10.00. And Rachel, you owe 15 big ones!
Joey: Hey and thanks for teaching us CrossEyed Mary. We gotta play that other way.
Phoebe: Alright, here's my $7.50. But you should know that this money is cursed.
Phoebe: I cursed it! So now bad things will happen to he who spends it.
Chandler: That's alright, I'll take it. Bad things happen to me anyway. This way I can split them up with a movie.
Ross: So that just leaves the big Greene poker machine, who owes 15.
Rachel: Could you be any smugger?
Ross: Let's see. Rach, I'm opening up a new art gallery... and I could sure use the portraits of Lincoln and Hamilton.
Rachel: Oh it's so typical. "Oh I'm a man! Oh I have a penis! Oh I have to win money to exert my power over women!"
Monica: You know what? This isn't over. We'll play you again. We'll win and you'll lose. and you'll beg and we'll laugh. And we'll take every last dime you have. And you'll hate yourselves forever!
Rachel: Kinda stepped on my point there, Mon.
Aunt Iris: I can't believe you lost! How much did they take from you?
Monica: I don't know, like 30 bucks.
Aunt Iris: You know, what I'm gonna do. I'll give you that money back.
Aunt Iris: No, I'm bluffing! You guys haven't learned crap! Hand me the cards!
Phoebe: Can l?
Aunt Iris: Yes!
Ross: So you gals wanna hand over your money now? Then we don't have to go through the formality of actually playing.
Rachel: No, that's fine. We'll see who has the last laugh there, monkey boy.
Monica: OK we done with chitchat? Are we ready to play some serious poker?
Phoebe: You guys, look! The one-eyed jack follows me wherever I go. Right. Ok. Serious poker.
Joey: Hey Mon, you get any more of those salmon thing?
Monica: You want to eat or play poker?
Monica: Excuse me? Where are you going?
Ross: To the bathroom.
Monica: Do you want to go to the bathroom or do you want to play poker?
Ross: I want to go to the bathroom.
Joey: Well, I'm gonna order a pizza.
Rachel: Oh No! No! No! I'm still waiting to hear from that job. The store closes at 9:00. So you can eat then.
Joey: That's fine. I'll just have a Tic Tac to hold me over.
Monica: All right. Cincinnati. No blinds. Everybody, ante.
Phoebe: Yes! Or no.
Ross: All right! Your money's mine, Green.
Rachel: Your fly's open, Geller.