Phoebe: God, what happened to you?
Chandler: Eight and a half hours of aptitude tests...,intelligence tests, personality tests, and what do I learn? "You're ideally suited in data processing for a large multinational corporation."
Phoebe: That's so great! 'Cause You already know how to do that.
Chandler: Can you believe it? Don't I seem like somebody who should be doing something really cool? You know, I just always pictured myself doing something.... Something!
Rachel: Chandler, I know, I know. Hey, you can see your nipples through this shirt.
Monica: Here you go. Maybe this will cheer you up.
Chandler: Woo, you know, umm, I had a grape about five hours ago, so I better split this with you.
Monica: It's supposed to be small. It's a preappetizer. The French call it an amouz-bouche.
Chandler: Well, it is amouzing.
Monica: Hello? Hi, Wendy. Yeah, 8:00. What did we say, $10 an hour? Okay, great. All right, I'll see you then. Bye.
Rachel: $10 an hour for what?
Monica: Oh, yes. One of the waitresses at work, she helps me out.
Rachel: Waitressing?
Monica: Of course I thought of you. But.... But....but...
Rachel: but?
Monica: But it's just this night has to go just perfect, you know? Well, Wendy's more of a professional waitress.
Rachel: I see. Yes. And I'm sort of maintaining my amateur status so I can waitress in the Olympics.
Chandler: You know, I don't mean to brag, but I waited tables at lnnsbruck in '76. Took home a bronze. Amouz-bouche?
Celia: Talk to me.
Ross: OK, err, A weird thing happened on the train this morning
Celia: Nonononono, talk dirty.
Ross: Well, here?
Celia: Come on. Say something hot. What? What?
Ross: Vulva.
Joey: Vulva?
Ross: All right. I panicked, all right? She took me by surprise. You know, but it wasn't a total loss. I mean, we ended up cuddling.
Joey: You cuddled? How many times?
Ross: Shut up. It was nice. I just, I just don't think I'm a dirty-talking kind of guy. You know.
Joey: What's the big deal? You just say what you wanna do to her. Or what you want her to do to you. Or what other people might be doing to each other. I'll tell you what. Try something on me.
Ross: Please be kidding.
Joey: Why not? Come on. Just close your eyes and tell me what you'd like to be doing right now.
Ross: OK, I'm in my apartment...
Joey: Yeah, what else?
Ross: Let's see it. In my apartment you're not there. We're not having this conversation.
Joey: All right, look, I'll start. OK?
Ross: Don't, please.
Joey: Come on, come on, Ready? Look. Oh, Ross... you get me so hot. I want your lips on me now. All right. Now you say something.
Ross: I really don't think so.
Joey: You like this woman, right?
Ross: Yeah!
Joey: You wanna see her again, right?
Ross: Sure.
Joey: If you can't talk dirty to me, how will you talk dirty to her? Now tell me you wanna caress my butt!
Ross: Okay, turn around. I just don't want you staring at me when I'm doing this.
Joey: All right, I'm not looking. Go ahead.
Ross: Okay. OK. I want Okay, I want...to feel your hot, soft skin with my lips.
Joey: There you go. Keep going, keep going.
Ross: I want to take my tongue and...
Joey: Say it. Say it!
Ross: Run it all over your body...until you're trembling with...
Chandler: With?
Ross: Funny story.
Joey: You're not gonna believe this.
Chandler: No, no, it's OK. I was always rooting for you two kids to get together.
Joey: The trembling thing was nice.
Ross: Shut up!
Joey: Hey, Chandler, when you were sleeping, that guy from your old job called again.
Chandler: Again?
Joey: And again and again and again. Hello? And again.
Chandler: Hey, Mr. Costilick. How's life on the 15th floor? Yeah, I miss you too. It's a lot less satisfying to steal pens from your own home. That's very generous. But, look, this isn't about the money. You know? I just, I need something. It's more than a job. I need something I really care about. And that's on top of the year-end bonus structure you mentioned earlier?
All: Your dream!
Chandler: Look, Al, I'm not playing hardball here, okay? This is not a negotiation. This is a rejection! Stop saying numbers! I'm telling you, you've got the wrong guy! You've got the wrong guy! I'll see you Monday!
Phoebe: Wow! It's huge! It's so much bigger than the cubicle. This is a cube!
Chandler: Look at this.