Friends Season 3 Episode 24 : The one With The Ultimate Fighting Champion.
Chandler: Do you think that there's a town in uh, Missouri or some place called Sample? And ah, as you're driving into town there's there's like a sign, and it says "You're in Sample."
Monica: Hey. Hey! How'd it go with Pete? ! Tell us!
Monica: You're not gonna believe this. Ok, so I go over. I'm sorry. Ex excuse us. I'm sorry, it's a little crowded. Do you mind if we. Yeah, could you scooch?
Billy: Yeah, move over just a little bit. Gracias.
Robin: Keep on scooching. Gracias.
Monica: So, guys listen, I go over there, and umm you know, I I. Why? Why? ! What's it always me? !
Billy: What's the matter? Tim, I have a feeling.I, my wife is sleeping with her gynecologist.
Billy: How do you know? Well you know, he's got access. Yeah.
Robin: You know it's that feeling you get, you know?
Billy: Like when you go bowling and you know you're in somebody else's shoes?
Robin: That's the one.
Phoebe: All right, so, so you went to Pete's. What happened? I. Why is this happening to me? ! I don't know, maybe it's my wound.
Monica: Forget it.
Billy: It's it's not healed yet? No no, it's ooozing, oozing. Could you pass me the cream? Is there any Uh, there's the cream. Thank you very much.
Billy: Thomas, this is gonna be hard, but I wanted it to come from me, and nobody else.
Robin: What is it, Tim? It's me, I've been sleeping with your wife.
Joey: So you're the gynecologist?
Billy: Hey, I'm trying to have a private conversation right?
Robin: Ooh, Can I have a napkin, please? Could you please hand me a napkin? Let me give me this thing! all right! ! Enough! And you are no longer my friend!
We are finished! Nada! ! No more! You are a bastard for doing this! ! Get away from me! ! Thomas, come back here!
Phoebe: So Monica, what were you gonna tell us?
Monica: I have no idea.
Rachel: So, come on, what was the big news Pete wanted to tell you Mon? ! Or should I say Mrs. Monica Becker?
Phoebe: No no no oh, keep your name, don't take his name.
Monica: He didn't ask me to marry him. Ohh. Well then definitely don't take his name.
Monica: He wanted to tell me he's going to compete in some ultimate fighting competition thingy.
The Guys: Pete? ! Why? ! What is it?
Monica: I don't know exactly. It's it's sorta like wrestling. Oh? ! Yeah, but without the costumes. Oh.
Joey: And it’s not fake.It’s totally brutal.
Chandler: Yeah, it's two guys in a ring, and the rules are: "There're are no rules."
Rachel: Which made a great 12 year old. Oh, it's the best year of my life.
Monica: You can like, bite, and pull people's hair and stuff? Yeah, anything goes, except ah, eye gouging and fish hooking.
Monica: What's fish hooking? What's fish hooking.Thanks man, that would've been really hard to describe. What is that taste?
Joey: What? My hands are totally clean, I just gave the duck a bath.
Doug: So thanks for the warm welcome. It's good to have you guys on my team, I come to play. I hope you do too.
Now, let's go out there and get 'em! Huh? And remember, there is no 'I' in team.
Chandler: Yes, but there's two in martini, soo everybody back to my office.
Doug: You! Chuckles! What's your name?
Chandler: Oh it's Bing, sir. I'm sorry, I was just ah. No no, I heard what you said, funny. I like funny.
This team is about hard work, but it's also about having fun. Good to have you aboard Bing!
Ross: That's right, Ryder. Wynona Ryder, for six. Thank you. Yeah, we have the reservations. Yes! !
Chandler: All right buddy, way to go!
Ross: Dude, what're you doing?
Chandler: Thank you! Today, my boss keep slapping my butt and he was acting like it was no big deal.
Phoebe: Yeesh, what'd you do about it?
Chandler: Well, I didn't do anything. I didn't wanna be the guy who has a problem with his boss slapping his bottom.
Monica: I gotta tell you, I think it's ok to be that guy.
Joey: Yeah, maybe it's like you know, that jock thing. You know how football players pat each other after a touchdown.
Rachel: You know I don't, I don't understand guys, I mean I I would never congratulate Monica on a great stew by you know, grabbing her boob.
Chandler: Yeah, I know, for a really great stew you just you know, stick your head in between 'em.
Monica: Ok, can we please go eat?
Joey: Yeah. What're we getting? Anything but stew.
Ross: All right so, Chandler, from now on, don't give your boss a chance to get you. You know just ah, don't turn your back to him.
Joey: Yeah, or you can teach him a lesson. You know? What you could do is you could rub something that really smells on your butt, all right?
Then, when he goes to smack ya, his hand will smell. Now what could you rub on your butt that would smell bad?
Chandler: What if Joey was President?
Phoebe: Umm, hey Rach, can I ask you something? Yeah.
Phoebe: Ok, you can totally say no, but umm, would it be ok with you if I set Ross up on a date?
Rachel: Oh. Ahhh, with who?
Phoebe: Umm, my friend, Bonnie. She just always thought Ross was really cute, and now that you two aren't together, she asked if I could set it up, but if you're not cool with it.
Rachel: Oh oh oh, which one is Bonnie again?
Phoebe: You remember her from my birthday party two years ago. She's yeah, like, average height, medium build, bald.
Rachel: Oh! That's fine.
Phoebe: Really? ! Come on, the bald girl? Absolutely.
Rachel: Great! Ok, good for you! Great!