Are you wearing my glasses?
Yes. I was just warming up the earpieces for you.
Thank you. Is that one of my cigarettes?
Yes, it is. I was just moistening the tip.
Okay, okay. She's taking the trash out, so I can get you out of here. But it has to be now. She'll be back any minute.
What about my friend Victor?
No, only the three of you. Any more than that she'll get suspicious.
Alright. Let me just get my coat.
There isn't time! Just leave everything. They'll take care of you next door.
Is it true they have beer?
Everything you've heard is true.
Could you guys please try to keep it down? We're trying to start a Boggle tournament.
You! And you! You're supposed to be at my party. And Gunther! What are you doing here?
Okay! Welcome to the fo...
Phoebe? All right, I'm sorry. But these people needed me.
You know, they work hard all week. It's Saturday night. They deserve to have a little fun. Go!
You know, my party is fun. I mean, maybe it's a little quieter, less obvious sort of fun. But if people would just give it a chance, so...
You want me to see a therapist? Sweetheart, you obviously have a problem. You've chosen a boyfriend exactly like your father.
Okay, Mom, you know what? Fine! I'll make an appointment. OK? But you know what? Right know, I gotta go. I gotta go do a thing.
Did you know your mother spent $1200 on bonsai trees? I felt like Gulliver around that place.
Oh, Daddy, Daddy, you know what? I really want to hear more about this, I REALLY do, but I just have...I just have to do um...um...some um...some stuff.
You work and you work and you work at a marriage...but all he cares about is his stupid boat...
You work and you work and you work on a boat...
He always ridiculed my pottery classes...
And you sand it and varnish it...
But when all is said and done, he still drinks out of the mugs...
One night of her yoga and Bridges of Madison County....
The scotch, the cigarettes.... The bonsais and the Chihuahua....
I may have only been in therapy for three weeks now dear but...
What the hell does she want with half a boat?
Okay, okay, you can be shirts and I'll be skins. I'll be skins!
Hey! How you holding up there, tiger? Oh! Sorry. When my parents were getting divorced, I got a lot of "tigers." I got a lot of "champs," "chiefs," "sports." I even got a "governor."
This is it, isn't it? I mean, this is what my life is gonna be like. My mom there, my dad there. Thanksgiving, Christmas.
She gets the house, he's in some condo my sister's going to decorate with wicker.
Agh! Chandler, how did you get through this?
Well, I relied on a carefully regimented program...of denial...and and, wetting the bed.
You know, I just...It's so weird. I mean, I was in there just listening to them bitch about each other.
All I kept thinking about was the Fourth of July.
Because it reminded you of the way...our forefathers used to bitch at each other?
It's just this thing. Every year we would...go out on my dad's boat and watch the fireworks.
Mom always hated it because the ocean air made her hair all big. My sister Jill would be throwing up over the side...
And my Dad would be upset because nobody was helping. And when we did help, he'd scream at us for doing it wrong.
But then when the fireworks started, everybody just shut up. You know, and it'd get really cold.
And we'd all just sort of smush under this one blanket. It never occurred to anybody to bring another one. And now it's....Agh!
Yeah, I...I know. Agh!
Okay, thanks for coming. I hope you had fun.
All right, Monica dear, I'm going to hit the road. Now, I've left my 10 verbs on the table. And you be sure you send me that finished poem.
Okay, will do. So glad you came. OK. All right, dear.
I, I think I saw Rachel out in the hall? Let me go check. Oh, alright.
Your mom wants to say goodbye. Oh, okay.
Hi, mom. Happy birthday, sweetie. Oh, okay.
Ah...You drive safe.
Ross, what are you doing?
I'm getting ready for the water skiing.
Okay, big hug, big hug. Come on. Big hug! Come on! How are you?
Ah, Dr. Green, where are you going? To get my coat.
Ooooh...We'll get that for you.
All right, all right. I can get my own coat!
Sorry, we're on a MAJOR flan high.
Oh, no. No, you're not supposed to be here. 'Coz this is the staging area. You should...It's all wrong. You should leave. You know, just get out. Or perhaps you'd like a crème de menthe.
I have to be heading toward my chateau. Thank you.
Oh, alright. I guess we're going back into the hallway again.
Thanks for coming, Mrs. Green.
Mua! Okay! You take care.
Oh, you kids! Well...This is the best party I've been to in years.
Okay, everybody, it's time for flan!
Yep! Get ready for the gelatinous fun.
Oh, it looks like that stuff you get when you get a bad infection. Ew!
Okay, that's enough. Okay, Rachel, make a special flan wish.
Okay, I've got one! Yeah! !!
Wow! Those things almost never come true.